Chapter 9 - The Market For Underdogs 

Why Buy the Cow?

Three and a half months and a series of seven interviews. That’s what it took me to land the last corporate job I had. My fi nal interview was scheduled with the CEO. The company f l ew me down for what was scheduled to be a quick thirty-minute meet and greet. The meeting ended up going on much longer than either of us expected.

The CEO walked in with a purpose and cheerfully greeted me as he continued to scratch notes on a copy of my resume. We shook hands and chatted for a few moments. As we moved from greeting to meeting, he transitioned by saying, “So tell me something personal about George.”

As I collected my thoughts I quipped, “Sure, what would you like to know?,” trying to sound casual. He replied, “Well, let’s start with your background. I have your resume, and I have some questions, but what’s your personal story?” with a tone that suggested he wanted to go more than resume-deep.

Being asked about my personal story put me in a little bit of a bind. As you now know, my personal story is not exactly a straight line. It’s filled with sensitive details not particularly suited for strangers, let alone the CEO of a publicly traded firm and potentially my new boss. You never know how others will receive your story. I got the sense he was interested in a meaningful version of what I was about to share, but I had to confirm that before I went too far down the tracks.

I jokingly replied, “My personal story? How much time do you have? I had a pretty tumultuous childhood, lived in cars for much of my life, and went to eleven schools growing up.” The rather pedestrian expression on his face changed to one of intrigue. Now he was genuinely interested. “Well, let’s start at the beginning, and we’ll see how far we get. If we need to move in another direction, I’ll let you know.”

“Fair enough,” I replied. I decided to share a more in-depth version of my life story—the violence and my experience growing up, my accident, the military, and more. The whole nine yards. He let me go on for about forty-five minutes as I weaved in and out of my personal and professional story. By the end of our conversation, he had a clear sense of who I was and my professional capabilities.

Then, as we got toward the end of the interview, he asked me if I had thought about the role and if I had maybe come up with a few potential areas we could immediately address. He acknowledged it might be tricky since I didn’t know the inner workings of the firm very well yet. It was at that point that I handed him a three-page document with a few dozen strategic and tactical ideas I’d been tinkering with.

He pored over the pages for a couple of minutes, leaving me sitting there in silence while he read. He nodded his head a couple of times and circled a few items, as a puzzled look came across his face. When he finished, he smiled, looked up, and asked, “George, have you ever heard the expression ‘Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’” His implication was clear. Since I had just handed him the recipe, what did he need me for?

Without missing a beat, I replied, “Sure, I’m familiar with the expression, and I appreciate the sentiment. The thing is, you’re going to need someone to implement these ideas and execute on our broader strategy.” He looked slightly taken aback by my snappy response. He nodded, stood up, and we shook hands, agreeing to “touch base” soon. He graciously thanked me for sharing my story with him as we walked toward the exit. All in, our conversation lasted for about two and a half hours that day.

As my plane touched down later that evening, my phone lit up with a new email message. It was a note from the treasurer. They wanted to offer me the job and begin salary negotiations. Over the next six years with this publicly traded firm, I would go on to design and develop several major technology products, oversee and evolve their national mortgage platform, get promoted to become a corporate officer, and ideate, start, and run a multimillion-dollar financial services subsidiary for them.

It all began with a single conversation, a little vulnerability, and a willingness to share my authentic story with a powerful stranger.

Underdog Supply and Demand

When the price of a stock goes up, there are some people who decide to buy. Simultaneously, there are others who decide to sell. It’s the same stock, bought and sold at the same time at a mutually agreed upon price. One side has motives to sell. The other has a motive to buy.

How is it that two people can have such differing opinions about the same company, while also sharing the goal of making a f inancial return? On its face, this practice seems odd, if not a little absurd. There are some understandable reasons for the differences of opinion.

This phenomenon can be distilled down to a few rational factors, things like available information, performance expectations, market analysis, interpretations, and current financial attitudes or needs to name a few. While these factors can and do have an impact on decisions, they are not the only aspects influencing us.

There is another aspect involved in influencing our decision-making process—our emotions. This combinatio

n of facts and feelings is how most of us navigate the world. Injecting emotion into daily decision making may not make for wholly rational decisions, but it damn sure keeps things interesting. It’s this incongruity of experiences, thought, and philosophies that is the lifeblood of financial markets, or any other market for that matter. And, while these can create tumult in their respective markets from time to time, we should be thankful for these disparate views. The outcome of varying views catalyzes opportunity as a product of combining the rational and emotional decisions of others.

At this point, you might be wondering what the hell financial markets have to do with being an underdog or overcoming adversity.

Simple. Just as markets exist for stocks, copper, oranges, or cryptocurrency, there is a market for less tangible commodities as well. That includes things like friendship, labor, and, yes, in our case, a market for underdogs. The two fundamental aspects required for a market to thrive include what economists refer to as supply and demand. Supply refers to the number of products or services willing and able to be produced and made available. Demand refers to the number of people that want, need, and are willing to procure those products or services. As an underdog, you need to be equipped to understand how this market works and the most effective way to successfully operate within it.

In this special market, the medium of exchange happens within the context of relationships. Demand is represented by a “buyer’s” willingness to provide value in the form of a specific type of support known as advocacy. Supply is distinguished by a “seller’s” ability to present oneself in a way that demonstrates their preparation, credibility, and competitive capacity.

Exchanges of value in this marketplace include both parties involved in an underdog transaction mutually agreeing to work with each other in specific ways. Advocates must buy in to the individual’s unique story, the value of their potential relationship, and the anticipated quality of their performance. On a personal level, advocates realize a boost in personal confidence, self-esteem, and satisfaction. They are proud to support underdogs and witness the accomplishments they helped foster. Socially there are several other reasons for them to support underdogs, which we will cover in a moment.

Similarly, the credible contender’s responsibility is to foster relationships with people they come to know, like, and trust. They also must recognize whether a would-be advocate can support them in the specifi c ways they need or not. In return, the underdog receives direct mentorship, guidance, and active backing by someone who believes in their potential.

Similar to how some stocks are not right for certain investors, not all advocates and underdogs are a good match for each other. Motivations, goals, and timelines play an essential role in this marketplace too. It’s worth absorbing fully what support in the form of advocacy looks like. Let’s take a closer look:

Underdog advocacy: Having a deep respect, appreciation, or reverence for someone personally, finding inspiration in their story, and being kinetically poised to support them through tangible eff ort and action. While individual advocates are unable to support all disadvantaged individuals, they recognize and value a specifi c person’s unique story and look for ways to support, motivate, or guide them through an uncertain future. They engage selfl essly with curiosity, empathy, and attunement, catalyzing opportunity for them with no ulterior motives.

The demand for underdogs generally comes from people in a relatively advantaged position who can off er up the specifi c kind of support or resource the underdog needs. Perhaps it’s their mentorship, friendship, or professional support. The power to offer a valuable resource is often unilaterally within their control. The difficulty of providing this support is frequently low for advocates, often due to an excess of resources, the relatively low stakes, and the private context in which it’s typically provided. This also helps explain why the demand is so high for underdogs—there is little downside for the demanders on this side of the transaction.

Arguably, underdogs are more in demand today than possibly at any other time in history. The number of people with abundant resources and a shifting cultural orientation toward increased social responsibility (at least in the West) have laid the groundwork for a thriving underdog market. But like any competitive marketplace, positive conditions often draw fakes, knockoffs, and unscrupulous actors. Interestingly, those with stories of real adversity are often loath to share their stories.

In an attempt to fill the demand void for underdogs, superficial or pseudo-underdog narratives have sprung up in droves. However, authentic stories remain in much shorter supply. Just as fake Louis Vuitton bags drive overall demand for the real thing, so too do pseudo-underdog stories increase the demand for legitimate ones. There is a shortage of credible contenders and their representative stories in the marketplace. But it’s difficult for someone to know you’re the real deal if you never share your story at all. This is a tragic outcome.

Candidly, the ask and the associated risk for credible contenders are somewhat higher. They must show up reasonably formed, compelling story in hand, offering a valuable relationship, and delivering performance that’s worthy of their moniker. That requires an investment of time and energy on their part to be noticeably prepared. However, this preparation is merely table stakes to be able to compete with their privileged achiever peers.

While it may seem like a heavy ask, the risk of sharing your real story is significantly outweighed by the reward of something you don’t have access to. You need what the advocates have to offer. On the surface this may seem like an unfair trade, but it’s often the most expedient and sometimes the only way to get access to the same resources as the more advantaged. It might be easy for advocates to offer their readily available resources, while more diff icult for an underdog to do the hard work to prepare themselves. Remember, you’re investing in the result, not in the time it took to produce it. In the end, the return on the investment is equitable.

In the long run, sharing a little piece of what makes you different is a small price to pay to access the types of resources and support that would have otherwise been unavailable to you. No one said being an underdog was easy, but you already knew that.

Avoiding Superficial Demand

Not all support looks or feels the same. It certainly doesn’t all have the same impact either.

By way of example, a willingness to root for someone in theory or from afar is not the same as actively supporting the specific goals of a single individual. Underdog support requires mutual participation and decisive action. Seek authentic advocacy and avoid superficial support. In 2008, a group of researchers from Northwestern University and the University of Richmond sought to figure out what makes people root for underdogs in the first place.45

Their findings highlighted a couple of common themes among this group’s supporters, along with a few specific examples of spurious support types. The research revealed that people behave in “socially sanctioned ways.”46 It’s common knowledge that humans are wired to fit in and do what is socially expedient.

Then, interestingly, they found that to recognize, identify, or sympathize with people of different perspectives and backgrounds than their own (in our case the disadvantaged), one must have exposure to those types of people. Personal familiarity with actual underdogs or disadvantaged individuals makes rooting for underdogs more socially acceptable to potential supporters. This increased social acceptability encourages them to engage with and advocate for the underdogs they come to know personally.

However, not all would-be advocates have altruistic motives, and not all socially sanctioned behaviors are necessarily virtuous. Social pressure to support underdogs can tend to skew the motivation of others with weak underlying motives. Below are a few ways in which superficial excitement to support underdogs provides no tangible benefit to those who could actually benefit from real advocacy:

1. Uniqueness. Rooting for an underdog is seen as unusual, creating a certain uniqueness for the person who roots for them, helping the supporter stand out or gain social acceptance.

2. Fairness. People see underdogs as having an unfair disadvantage and, as a result, root for them out of pity or sympathy, making themselves feel good but providing no real value.

3. Proxy. Others attempt to live vicariously by using the underdog narrative to help them position themselves as an underdog in their own mind, this being their primary motivation for support.

4. Drama. People enjoy the sense of drama that stems from seeing underdogs compete when there’s potential for an unlikely outcome and possibility to be proven right.

5. Low Stakes. There is little to lose by rooting for an underdog, lowering the bar for support, and only betting on your performance when there is nothing on the line for them personally.

Finally, there is a well-known concept known as schadenfreude. Schadenfreude doesn’t just apply to this context. It’s a German word that means “pleasure obtained by someone from another person’s misfortune.”47 In our context, it provides clarity to a superficial backing mechanism used as support only so far as one hopes that an underdog’s competitor loses. Some supporters only temporarily rally behind the disadvantaged because they despise their opponent. They are not pro-underdog but are motivated to root against the underdog’s competitor. They want to see the other side fail. They don’t genuinely care about anyone’s personal success. Obviously, that’s not a very helpful source of support either.

It can sometimes be difficult to find advocacy in a cloud of superficial support. In the long run that’s what enhances the value of authentic advocacy. In a separate study, researchers likened the availability of general underdog support to being a “mile wide and an inch deep.”48 All the examples in this section serve to both The highlight the prevalence of superficial support and demonstrate its lack of utility. These forms of support don’t provide any lasting value. Superficial support is ultimately about the individual providing it, having little to do with you. It’s a low-stakes way for others to leverage a personal benefit on the back of your personal struggle. There’s no value in having others feign support for you when you have a real disadvantage and need tangible help, guidance, and advocacy.

You’re going to need to go a little deeper to gain anything valuable or worth your attention. The way you do that is by having your act together, by putting in the work to have a solid story, by developing real relationships, and by consistently showing up. Advocacy comes from being the most prepared version of yourself that you can be.

The only thing that can help you overcome disadvantage and thrive is advocacy provided by someone who comes to genuinely care about the outcomes of your life. Let’s figure out how to move toward a place where you can get the type of advocacy you deserve from others.

People Are Wired to Help

The opposite of schadenfreude is a social science concept called freudenfreude. This is defined by taking pleasure in someone else’s good fortune.49

In contrast to what we considered in the last section, there are many people who want to genuinely help others. We can’t help it; it’s hardwired into most of us. Even the curmudgeons among us find their own way to help, aid, and support others. I’m always reminded of Clint Eastwood’s character in the movie El Camino.  People are enigmatic; one minute they’re outside in their yard with a shotgun slinging racial slurs at you. The next they’re defending you by putting themselves in harm’s way. It all comes down to the nature of our personal relationships with each other. We only fully support those we have come to know and care about on a deep and personal level.

Researchers from the University of South Florida in 2007 identified a plausible reason why people are drawn to advocate for those who are not expected to succeed—they consider their disadvantage as undeserved. Recall from chapter 2 that the voluntary or involuntary nature of disadvantage would largely determine its merit.

In addition to whether the disadvantage was deserved, the researchers drilled into the specific reasons for this willingness to support underdogs. They found people are incentivized to provide these types of support in five unique ways:50

1. Thrill of the unexpected: The especially satisfying feeling received from seeing someone unlikely to succeed, succeed.

2. Longshot bias: A propensity and genuine desire to disproportionately support outliers not expected to win.

3. Self-identification: The ability to consider, empathize, and contrast their own relative difficulties with the more profound adversity of others and revel in finding commonality.

4. Balance scales of justice: A recognition of underlying inequality expressed as a desire to establish social parity and personally intercede on behalf of the disadvantaged one.

5. Complementary justice: An ability to compare the individual to their more admirable qualities in lieu of focusing on perceived weaknesses, considering their potential instead.

These are five more reasons people are compelled to provide support to unlikely contenders. These deep-seated feelings are hard to ignore, driving up demand for underdogs and creating significant opportunities to acquire life-changing advocacy.

Underdog supporters want to develop personal relationships with and root for those they view as credible contenders. Motives can initially be difficult to identify, but support has a way of making itself known through the actions of the advocate over time.

Although, how do you go from being strangers to earning advocacy, anyway?

The Continuum of Underdog Support

Some of us might not initially appreciate exchanging our hard work for something so seemingly nebulous as a thing like advocacy. However, in the underdog economy, it’s the most valuable currency available.

As we’re about to see, advocacy shows up as the culmination of a progressive set of support alternatives. Support shows up in the form of an unspoken commitment on the part of the advocate, but it takes time and relationship development to arrive at a place of advocacy.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Before we can examine or underscore the value of advocacy, we must first understand the typical types of support from others. While it’s well established that people want to back underdogs, the depth and impact of their aid varies greatly.

One final note before we look at the progression of support. Please be a responsible human being. That is to say, the things we’re about to discuss are not intended to be used maliciously or to manipulate others. This should go without saying, but it bears reiterating. Do the work, be real with people, and the support you need will follow. Showing a little integrity and following the golden rule of treating others how you would like to be treated are all it takes.

Now, the most effective way to consider the support of others is to consider a continuum from least impactful to most impactful as seen in figure 9.1:

Most of us are familiar with the ideas of sympathy and empathy; attunement and advocacy are more nuanced. To better understand what each of these support mechanisms is and their effects on underdogs, we should review each in a little more detail. It’s important to appreciate each type of support while also recognizing they don’t all provide the same benefits.

Each of these support types may be more or less helpful at various underdog recovery stages. Some types of support work better or are more helpful when one has been recently victimized. Others are only available as you start to look and sound more like a credible contender. The better your story, relationships, and performance align with your personal character and where you are on your journey, the further you can move your relationships along this support continuum. Let’s start at the beginning of our continuum by considering the place and time for sympathy.

Sympathy

“Feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune.”51

Another word for sympathy is compassion, which is a more general term to express concern for the misfortune of others.52

Early in the book, we outlined the idea that sympathy is something to be avoided. It’s true; pity may be warranted while you’re being victimized, but it’s infi nitely useless to those on the mend. You should attempt to avoid attracting pity or sympathy.

The second definition points out the trouble with attracting sympathy—support comes in the form of feelings or opinions. The opinions of others aren’t working to move you forward. It can feel good to commiserate with others sometimes, but there is harm there too. Sympathy keeps you stagnant or serves to help you relive the past. It keeps you focused on your trauma instead of  being solution oriented and working to overcome and heal from it. This is the realm of the victim.

Instead, acknowledge this emotion when shared by others, say thank you, but discount it internally and move on. Their temporary emotions don’t provide sustainable value to you. As you begin to position your story correctly, you can learn to avoid this emotional response altogether.

Empathy

“The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”53

Social familiarity with the idea of empathy has grown in recent years. It comes in the form of others being able to put themselves in the shoes of someone else. That’s a good starting point when it comes from a friend, confi dant, or colleague. Receiving empathy from someone can make us feel appreciated and understood, and there is a time and a place in the life when empathy is needed, for sure.

The hidden challenge of empathy is that the underlying degree of trauma is not always well understood by the empathizer. For example, if you’ve been disadvantaged, and the person conveying empathy has not been, it’s difficult for them to truly understand the depths of what you’re going through. Their empathetic support response to you, while real and profound for them, can only be conveyed in direct proportion to their background. Their empathy is limited by the degree to which they know your full story and their personal experiences.

Most often the people conveying empathy don’t truly understand what you’ve been through. As a result, they don’t know how to support you in a way that helps you make progress. Thus, their empathy keeps you looking in the rear-view mirror as you engage with them. Empathy is a normal human response, and these people mean well. Their intentions are noble, and this is a solid starting point upon which to build more meaningful relationships. However, you’re going to need more than emotion and something a little more practical.

Having your story dialed in will help attract the right people and move you along the support continuum with ease.

Attunement

“To bring into harmony.”54

The definition is accurate, if not a little broad, leaving a lot to the imagination.

Attunement revolves around a certain reactiveness or sensitivity we have in relationship to one another. It goes beyond an ability to understand the position of another and feel for them, to a place where they can feel with you. It is a cultivated space that allows you both to enter, be vulnerable, and anticipate each other’s emotional needs. You come to appreciate one another on a much deeper emotional and cognitive level with a reciprocal and resonating response. It can almost be thought of as a metaskill, which encompasses a broader array of active participation with another person.55

The American Psychological Association refers to attunement as an “emotional synchrony” akin to a baby and its mother recognizing and anticipating each other’s needs without a request or even an acknowledgement.56 You adapt to respond to one another in an automatic and unthinking way that shows you’re in harmony with each other’s needs.

In recent years, Daniel Pink has further promoted and popularized the idea of attunement. He has cited it in the use of professional sales training, as he makes the case that attunement is a natural phenomenon available to but not used by everyone. Fundamentally, we care about others being able to understand us on a deeper level. To get our message across, there is some amount of emotional transfer needed between those in relationship. We must let others in and help them understand where we are coming from.

Additionally, in To Sell Is Human, Pink reiterates previous research performed, which suggests that those with fewer resources are more keen perspective takers57 (that would be underdogs). Perspective is important because it provides awareness to the disadvantaged in ways not understandable by others without similar experience. As a result, the disadvantaged inherently develop a keen ability to easily enter attunement. That isn’t the case with everyone.

As the party with the broader adversity perspective, underdogs need to take the initiative to invite others into our world so they can fully appreciate our viewpoint and harmonize with our unique experiences, motivations, and values.

It is difficult to understand the particular perspective that arises from trauma. When someone hasn’t experienced what you’ve experienced, their frame of reference can be limited. Therefore, The Market for Underdogs 167 inviting others into and sharing your perspective is essential to effective relationship development. You should look to reciprocate with others in a similar way. Doing so moves you beyond superf icial emotional understanding and puts you in a place of deeper mutual harmony.

Attunement is the gateway that transitions relationships from the emotional realm into the physical world. Attunement moves the relationship to a place where someone wants to go out of their way to support you not only in words and feelings but also in actions.

But in what ways do tangible actions manifest in relationships?

Advocacy

We have discussed and defined advocacy throughout this chapter. Feel free to rereview the definition we outlined earlier as a refresher. Ultimately, advocacy is so valuable because it’s hard to overcome most disadvantages without at least a few true advocates in your corner.

In our continuum of support, advocacy is easy to recognize as the aspirational relationship goal for all underdogs. To develop advocacy is to engage with others, sharing your story and your performance and developing meaningful relationships with them. That involves moving from sympathy to empathy, into attunement, and finally entering a state of advocacy.

Beyond the definition of advocacy, it’s worth highlighting a few key areas where advocates differentiate themselves from other types of supporters. In addition to a willingness for kinetic activities, advocates are further exemplified by the following characteristics:

1. Demonstrating an appreciation for you personally

2. Understanding your unique disadvantag.

3. Respecting your personal story

4. Identifying relevant opportunities collaboratively with you

5. Supporting you via empathy and attunement, culminating in a willingness to act on your behalf

Obtaining all five of these provides the right kind of support in the right way, with the right set of motives, from exactly the right people.

Some types of support provide a strong sense of emotional connection between you and your supporter. Advocacy, on the other hand, helps you do and become more together. Strive to connect with people who can help you feel more connected and involved, but don’t sell yourself short by seeking only emotional validation. You will also need some folks willing to act and risk something meaningful personally or professionally on behalf of your goals too. Remember, they take joy in seeing you succeed. That’s the real back and forth of this type of relationship.

Ultimately, navigating the underdog economy requires some work on our part. We need to show up like the credible contender we were meant to be. When we do, we get rewarded with more support than we can handle. Remember that there is a give-andtake in this marketplace, which starts with the work you do to be viewed as a credible contender and culminates with the active support only real advocates can provide. Reciprocal benefi ts abound in the market for underdogs.

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